The Most Common Physical Symptoms of Grief
Most people are familiar with the emotional aspects and stages of grief. The psychological effects and emotional responses that occur with grieving are expected and understood. It is often the first reaction to comfort someone in grief, focusing on emotional well-being. But what about the physical well-being of those in grief?
Though they have good intention and are providing support, people tend to focus on emotions while forgetting the physical toll that grief can take on its sufferers. It’s likely that, in the moment, even the people struggling with grief themselves are unaware of the physical effects they are experiencing. Being aware of and understanding these physical symptoms of grief can be helpful with coping, healing, and helping others.
There is no perfect way to experience grief or to escape its many uncontrollable and often negative effects. It is different for each individual and may manifest itself in a number of ways. Being able to recognize the possible physical forms that grief can take is beneficial, as grief can adversely affect a person’s health. Dealing with these effects as they arise can greatly increase an individual’s ability to process their grief in a healthier manner and learn how to continue living in the best way possible for them.
Although each individual’s experience is different, below are the two most common physical effects of grief.
Appetite Changes
The first and most obvious way in which grief can present physically is through appetite. During a time of loss, people are consumed with a multitude of emotions and can easily forget basic needs, such as eating regularly. In addition, the body’s normal response to stressors is a change in appetite.
Most people experience either a loss of appetite or a compulsion to overeat. Some people may do both, fluctuating between the two. It is believed that these appetite changes may stem from a need to have control over some aspect of life. Experiencing a loss creates a large sense of losing control of one’s life and surroundings. By altering the amount of food a person is eating, they are subconsciously comforted by the ability to control something in their everyday life.
As comforting as it may be at the time, a change in appetite can lead to damaging consequences. Changes in weight are the most likely result, leading to improper nutrition and overall health. Not only will the body suffer the effects, but also the mind.
It is important to be mindful of eating habits during periods of grief. In order to grieve in a healthy manner, an individual must try to maintain a normal eating routine. Changes in nutrition can cause setbacks in healing emotionally, worsening depression and decreasing overall well-being.
Tips:
Make a meal plan at the beginning of each week. Write down what you’re eating throughout the day and what time. Keep track. If you are compelled to overeat, occupy your time with something else when you feel the urge. Do a self-care activity like taking a bath, going for a walk, or completing a project. Do a task that you have control over, even if it is simply writing a note or taking a jog.
If you don’t feel hungry, try to distract yourself when it’s mealtime. The best thing to do is be with someone else while eating. People tend to focus less on the act of eating when there is a distraction present and the end result is that eating happens naturally. Watch a television show or a movie with your meal. If you can’t distract yourself enough to eat a full meal, try to eat plenty of wholesome snacks or portions of meals throughout the day.
Tips for those supporting others in grief:
It is traditional for people to bring food items like casseroles or desserts to grieving families in the wake of a loss. It is a wonderful tradition, yet it often bombards the recipient with a plethora of rich comfort foods that can’t and probably shouldn’t be eaten in large quantities. They are happy to forgo cooking and thankful for the visitors but soon after the initial loss, visitors stop coming and none of that comfort food is left. Bringing food the first days is an excellent gesture, but it is important not to forget the days to come. Drop in with a dish later in the week, month, or even year.
Fatigue
Another common way that grief can manifest in the body is in the form of fatigue. Experiencing grief can lead to the same production of hormones that the body produces in response to danger or fear. People experience muscle tension, extreme focus, and hypersensitivity while going through these grief responses. As time goes on and these symptoms persist, sleep disturbances, exhaustion, and fatigue can set in.
There are several elements that cause this type of hormonal response to grief. Often, learning of the loss of a loved one can trigger a shock response in the body. The body panics when the mind doesn’t have an answer with regard to what should be done next. A fight or flight reaction tends to be the result and can continue to reoccur throughout the grief process, causing symptoms similar to those seen in cases of PTSD. Being in this state of stress, the body will inevitably become exhausted and need rest for recovery.
Fatigue caused by grief can become a downward spiral if ignored. The body will suffer from long periods of unhealthy sleeping patterns and constant exhaustion from stress. It can lead to negative appetite changes, isolation, depression, and poor overall health.
Tips:
Dealing with fatigue in grief is difficult. It’s hard to pinpoint a specific cause for the body becoming exhausted during grief and is often the result of a combination of factors. If you find yourself feeling fatigued, allow yourself to rest as needed, but don’t do it to escape. Rest when your body is tired.
If stressful thoughts are keeping you awake during your normal hours of sleep, as you get ready for bed, listen to calming music, read a book, watch a boring television show or movie, or find something to focus your mind on that is unrelated to the source of your stress. If you have trouble avoiding thoughts related to your grief, try to focus on fond and joyous memories and feelings about your loved one. Think of their life instead of their passing.
Putting your thoughts on paper can be helpful in reducing stress and fatigue. Try writing down your feelings during the day so that you have time to process them.
Maintain a normal routine throughout the day to the best of your ability.
These two physical elements of grief may seem small in comparison to the emotional aspects of grief, however, they are just as impacting. Even a slight change in eating or sleeping habits can have long-lasting effects on the body and cause the grieving process to become more difficult. Understanding these physical forms of grief and recognizing them if they occur is the first step towards healing. Being aware of these manifestations can enable a person in grief to process what they are experiencing in a healthy manner and begin to develop positive coping skills.
